I'm not crazy...I'm just bored!!

Got up early and did a nice ride. 

Climb up Rose Canyon, then out to Mtn View Corridor - out and back, then back home.

Got pulled over by the cops this morning :) yup. true story. I guess you can't be on the unopened sections. I've now been black-listed as warned about this. I don't think I'll be on the corridor anymore!

Now, I'm off to the gym for a weight session and a swim.

Good weight set - 3X arms (shoulders, back, triceps), 2 min cardio. running legs set (lunges, band walk, calf raises) 3X, 2 min cardio. Core set (on the ball, with a weighted ball, free standing) took off to get to the pool so I could get done with only a 1 hr charge at day care.

30 laps - 1500 yds - 1.3km - .83 miles -- in 33:30. I was hoping to get a full mile in, almost there! But, had to get out to get to day care or I'd pay for an extra hour and have only used 10 minutes of it. Still, good workout!

20 miles with a friend from TTT (triple threat triathletes). It was just her and I, so we busted out the miles and didn't hang around too much. We both got home in plenty of time to get our brand-new Kindergartners off for their first day. Always fun to see them grow up, but I still cry!

Yoga X - I need some yoga. So, I am pre-blogging this to keep myself honest. I WILL do it!

Another ride. I just have to say, when I run I don't really notice the day light slipping away so quickly in the morning, but when you need light to ride? You notice that 6AM is just too dark anymore to start. poo. I don't want fall and winter to come yet. 

22 miles with Heidi, another TTT friend. She was a great person to ride with...I really like her and she runs too! Yipee! Who can't use another running friend? 

Good course and we kind of took it easy on the flat/downhill parts and just rode next to each other (what you could) and chatted. But 15mph for the ride isn't bad either. Especially for getting a good chatty ride in. Oh, I miss my running peeps.

The foot is still getting noticeably better each day. It really is more like a stinky case of PF now than anything. I'm sure a lot of runners run all the time with the amount of pain I'm in now (which isn't a lot). But, I don't want this horrible "I can't walk/function" pain to come back when I jump back in, so I'm going to wait until Monday to run again.

The amazing news is that tomorrow morning my family (8yr old, 11 yr  AND hubby!!!) are going to do a triathalon. I'm impressed my hubby was willing to do it. It is a super sprint distance - 150M swim, 4.6 mile ride and 1 mile run, yup just ONE mile! I guess they only have like 30 people signed up. I should do it :) ha! Whatever. I'll be the cheerleader this time and watch and let them have the glory. I really am excited to see my hubby do it! I hope he likes it :) even just a little bit.

So, that is at 8AM - then my 8 yr old is getting baptized at noon. It will be a crazy morning! So, today I have to do everything (yard work, house work, ironing etc) to get ready for the party. Blech. Worst part of a party!

This also leads me to my next question...anybody willing to ride with me on Saturday? I want to try and get a good 3 hours in to get my 20 miler worth of cardio done. I know it isn't the same, but I've got to trust my body that it can run Park City and I was going to run a 20 tomorrow before the tri, but I just can't bike in the dark like I can run in the dark. Poo. Anyway, I'd really love some company in the evening if anyone is willing!!

What a day! So, we woke up early for the tri and got some sweet spots in transitions. They started the youngest kids first and despite having to wear a life jacket for the swim, David (8) did a great job! He was probably the slowest swimmer, but he put his whole heart into it! Then he had a great transition into the bike and was 2nd out (behind his cousin who has taken tri classes all summer and has done 4 or 5). 

After seeing him off I watched Lauren start her swim. She is just a great swimmer! She got out and into the transition area in good time. My kids feeling good about wearing their Keen sandals to bike and run in was really to their favor in the transitions. David came in from the bike and headed out on the run VERY quickly, he was still in 2nd behind bye-wing's son.  I ran (yes, ran!) over to the finish to watch David bring it home in the run. Watched Andrew finish strong, then saw David push through the .6 mile run to maintain his 2nd position! Since he started the swim last, I knew he would get 2nd despite the staggered start.

While David finished, my husband started his 150M swim. I was SO excited that he was even willing to do this and humor me :) As I headed back from the finish Craig was just getting out of the pool. I harassed him a bit about walking, but the swim wore him out. At least he was still moving and not ready to quit...yet :)

I watched Craig fly off on the bike, Lauren come in and then she took off like a shot on the run! I wanted to run with her, but decided that was bad form and to just sit back and yell and cheer for the family. Went to the finish to watch Lauren finish the 1.3ish mile run while Craig finished the bike and started the run. When I saw him he was walking. I said "c'mon give me a little run for the camera!"...but, he was tired. I again, was just happy he was still going and trying!

Lauren finished strong and ran the whole time. Her card said she finished 2nd overall and 1st in her AG with 4 threats. So, we had to wait and see if anyone would beat her time. It took the next girl more than elapsed swim start times to come in, so I felt confident that she would maintain that 1st...but she was nervous!

A little bit after Lauren finished, bye-wing came sprinting into the finish! I think she had the 2nd place overall time - after her daughter :) 1st in her AG though!! Her first first place finish! Woot woot!! Then Craig came into the finish and ran probably the last tenth of a mile after walking the rest. He gave it an awesome strong finish! I was so proud of my sexy, amazing husband that hadn't trained at all or ever even dreamed of doing a tri finishing in great style. When we got his card and it said 1st in his AG I was even more proud!! His first words to me were: "I'm NEVER doing this again!" I don't know...maybe next year he will come back with some training and defend his title :)

We stuck around for the great awards ceremony where we cleaned house! Our family took SO many 1st place medals they ran out!! Craig was the last AG they gave awards to, so he got cheated out of his 1st place medal. They said they would have it for him when we go to pick up t-shirts next week though.

So, the finishing run down: Bye-wing- 1st AG; B-w's daughter - 1st AG; B-w's son - 1st AG; Craig - 1st AG; Lauren - 1st AG; David - 2nd AG; B-w's friend's son also took 1st AG! Seriously...we cleaned them OUT! Not a single person in our family walked away NOT being a winner :) We're just awesome sauce like that.

Distances: 7-9yr olds: 50M swim, 2.3mile bike, .6 run (this was David and his cousin's distance); All others did: 150M swim, 4.6 mile bike, 1 mile run.

I think the run was longer than that. My daughter's time was 13:30ish on the run and she typically runs a 9mm in races, so I think it was closer to a 1.3 or 4ish.

After we loaded up all the hardware, we took off to grab our 6 foot sandwich for the baptism lunch and get home to shower and get all dressed up for the special occasion. Had a wonderful afternoon with family and friends celebrating a special day!

Then...I crashed. After cleaning up I went to bed. I got just over an hour nap...with interruptions about every 20 min. I didn't get to bed until 1AM from cleaning for the party (knowing there would be NO time before the party!) then got up at 6AM. Whew, I was tired!

Then, I met a new friend that I'd found through Brent's connection to Di, Heather. She actually helped run the tri this morning, so we met there and then she wanted to do the ride with me and so she drove out to my house and we took off just after 5PM.

We rode down to Redwood, up and over camp Williams, down 2100N in Lehi to meet Skip for a tour of Saratoga. We had 18 miles then, and added another 18 with Skip when got back to the park and ride. Heather and I decided to take the Frontage road (on the W side of I-15) home to 14600S and then West to 3200W, up to 12600S then the final climb home. It wasn't easy, but it was SO awesome!

My new bike seat is A+! My butt was sore, but not done. I seriously could've gone a good 'nother 20 miles! No joke. I felt great. The pace was slower than my other 56 mile ride, but we had more climbing on this one...and more downhill. I seriously slogged through the last 15-20 miles of the ride last time, but this time I'd fueled and watered well and my butt wasn't killing me and my handlebars were adjusted properly. WHAT A DIFFERENCE! I now have confidence that I can make the IM work.

54 miles total with 2000ft of overall gain in 3:15 - so about 16.4mph Honestly, I think I could've pushed the pace home a little more. But, Heather is gaining her climbing legs back and it was getting dark as we were climbing home, so I didn't want to be alone and I stuck close to Heather. Safety in numbers!

Afterward we chatted forever at my house. You know you've made a good new friend when you can chat away for hours like you've been friends for years. Good times! I am SO grateful for the company and new connections I made today. Lots of good athletes out there and I love networking with them all. She is training for her first marathon, so I'll get out with her on the road (running) soon :)

Home and ready to shower and go to bed. After writing this novel. Again...all for me, you guys don't have to be subject to reading all my craziness. But, as always you're more than welcome to! Now...enjoy some pics from the Tri!

My athletes ready to race!!

 Lauren taking off on the run!

 Craig bringing it home!!

 Winner cousins with their medals!

 Winner winner! Craig borrowed the medal from Lauren for the pic...had to have proof!

 My winners!!!

 Tri family fun! All of us hanging out and having fun...almost :)

 Someone was excited to be baptized! :) We clean up pretty well, huh?

20.5 miles on the bike, a little slower than I'm used to, but it was great fun with friends. Got to climb the best part of Rose Canyon twice. Pushed the first part, then when I reached the top I turned and went back to where the last of the ladies were and rode up again with them. Better than just sitting at the top. 

Now, I'm off to take kiddos to school and the plan is to ride my bike (mtn bike with baby seat) to the gym, put baby in day care, run 3-5 miles on the TM to test out the foot and finish up with a good weight set then bike home. There are some advantages to only having one child at home - I can bike to the gym again!!

I have miles today! yipee! All TM's were full when I got there (Baby LOVED the ride!), so I did the first mile on the track. The turns around the track were a little painful due to the shift of weight, but I got it done and went to a TM. Three more at 8:34 pace. Harder than I remember, but still doable and I could chat with the ladies next to me. The last quarter I pushed the pace and didn't feel a noticeable difference in the foot - another YIPEE! Ended at a 7:00mm. TT: 25:45 (for 3) AP: 8:34

Did a good weight set: Shoulders, upper arms, chest and back. Core and leg work for running. Then we rode home. A little slower, but we got it done.

Icing the foot now. No increased pain, but taking precautions.

Miles, Miles...glorious miles. 

I told Chad this morning that I didn't care about pace, but I was just there for the miles. I proved myself right :)

The first 3.5 or so miles I ran with Chad at a good clip for the hills and road. Nothing spectacular, but enough that I felt like I wasn't starting from scratch...even though I really am after almost 2 weeks with no running.

At 12600S we waited for George and Christine (we'd passed them while she took a second to stretch) and we switched pairs. George and Chad took off on a nice tempo and then Christine and I plugged along. She wasn't feeling well and had to stop and walk a bit every mile or so. No spectacular speed, but again, I was just there for the miles and didn't mind hanging out.

Finished the 10 mile loop in good fashion and enjoyed it, until George came driving back in his car :) He was worried because we were SO far behind! Nice to know our peeps have our back if anything ever happened. Oooopppps! Next time I won't get far enough behind to have a sweeper crew come out.

Foot did really well, I still iced it and took some Ibuprofen when I got home as a precaution, but things went well! I'm glad it seems to still be getting better despite getting back to running. I think I'll meander through this one with little issues in the long run.

After getting kiddos off to school, I got trains out in my bedroom for baby (all else is practically unbreakable, or I don't care much about) and took a little nap - excellent!

AP: 9:14 splits: 8:39, 8:54, 8:52, 9:18, 9:50, 9:40, 9:11, 9:07, 9:20, 9:33

Wanted to sleep in, but had an early AM doc appointment...blech! So, I did get to sleep until 6:10.

Got kids off to school (ugghhh!!) then rode the bike with baby to the gym. Spin class - holy sweat buckets batman! Good climbing and then cadence on the climbs. Loved it. 

Checked in with nursery and baby had been a turd, but they said they were okay keeping him. I talked to him and asked if he wanted to go home or play with friends. He said play, so I let him stay, but jumped into the pool for just a quick swim.

40 touches (20 laps; 1000yds) - in 25ish minutes.

Jumped out of the pool and changed, but baby was in time out when I went to pick him up. Boo. I'm getting so sick of this...really sick of it. They said he was fine until about 3 min before I picked him up. Whatever.

Rode the bike home, always a good climb!

Rest day for the foot and it feels better yet. Still not 100% pain free, but it is getting better. So I'll keep taking care of it and taping on runs.

Urban Trail loop with the Newtons...well, some of them. 

George and James took off, but that is to be expected. Chad hung around with me and my dragging pace today. Which wasn't bad, but slow for this crazy crowd! I did start out pretty slow, but I'm telling you I could NOT see the road today! We start out on a canal road and it was dark and my head lamp was not cutting it! I thought I was going to die. I stepped on a gazillion rocks and almost twisted my ankle, then I'd step in holes and almost do the same. Crud. Then, because I was watching where I was going so intently, I gave myself vertigo. Blech. Seriously, I need to learn to run again.

Foot felt better than Tuesday! So, I'm not going to complain or rant on about it from now on unless there is a problem or things get worse. I'm still taping/icing/Ibuprofening it, but since it is on an upward swing even with running I'm feeling good and confident it should carry me through from here on out.

Calves a little tight when I got home, but getting back to running will do that to you.

AP: 8:50 splits: 9:23, 9:11, 8:47, 8:21, 8:47, 8:48, 8:49, 8:31. Ran the last .2ish low 8/high 7...felt good to get some turnover going!

Rest Day for the tri tomorrow! YIPEE!! Blackridge baby.

The morning started off well enough...until I got about 1/4 mile away from the park (I'd ridden my bike over, because I only live about a mile away...why drvie?!?). I then realized I was an idiot and didn't have my helmet on my head!! What the!?! yeah...I'm brilliant! Went back home and all the cars I saw driving in I thought...there goes my good transition spot...and your next choice...and your next choice... grrrr.

Luckily, after I dropped my T2 stuff at the park I'd run into a friend and she took pity on me and took me up to the reservoir for T1 (the first transition is at the reservoir and you drop your bike there, but the 2nd transition is at the park where the finish line is - they take a drop bag that you fill with your swim stuff down to the finish and since you finish the bike and start the run there...your bike stuff should already be there).  I got my body markings and a bike spot in the transition way at the back, but at least it was on the end. I hate not being on the end. Chatted with friends and fellow racers, tried to figure out if I'd registered Athena or not (I decided to just go with it and good thing, because I had!), and froze my tush off. It was cold and windy.

The race director gave the most hillarious, motivating pre-race speech ever (they always have pre-race meetings for tris to give any last minute details and course reviews)! It was crazy!! Something I'll never forget...my motivating speech to Escape from Blackridge! Then, we hit the beach to start the swim waves. I grabbed a quick gu on the way down. I knew I was going to need a boost! They started Elites first, then younger to older men's groups, then they did Clydesdales, Athena and relay all together in a wave. So, the Athenas were the first women to start the race. They had no women register as Elite.

Swim time: 9:28 - 6th in my AG and 1st in Athena

The swim was over and done with quickly. What I didn't like is that they didn't have a mat at the water's edge, you had to run up the gravel/dirt (only covered with a thin fake grass mat) up to the parking lot and then through the parking lot to the T1 area before crossing a timing mat. So, my swim time was also some running/hiking/ouchy foot time!

I had taped up my foot the night before with KT tape, because it feels a lot better when I do that on a run. I'd alcoholed the skin and heated the tape, I knew that sucker wasn't going anywhere! But, it still fell off in the water. I've really got to either get 100% over this or figure out how to get the tape to stick before the half IM - in 2 weeks! So, the hobble up the gravel and in the parking lot was only made worse by my unsupported foot.

T1 time: 1:34 - 4th in AG and 1st in Athena.

The transition went really well. Socks and bike shoes went right on and since we weren't in the sand, and run far enough out of the water I didn't need my water bucket to wash off my feet!! Grabbed glasses and helmet (I remembered this time!), threw the crap in my drop bag and I was off (but, I left the water, because I was on the end and if I would've dumped it - it would've gotten all over everyone else's stuff they had laid out! I wasn't going to be mean, but I didn't want to go all the way off the pavement to dump it either - so I left it out of the bag and just donated it to the cause). As I ran in my bike shoes to the other end of the trasition (like 30+ rows down) I was grateful I'd gotten the spot I did. It actually ended up being beneficial to be on the 'wrong end' of transition and run in my bike shoes down the length of the area, than in bare feet with my heel aching. See? it all works out in the end!

Bike Time: 46:03 - 19.45mph for the 14.9 miles (I mapped it, I didn't have a garmin and I don't know what they were calling it). I had the 7th overall fastest bike time! This is a tough biking route! Only one Athena beat my bike time by 40 seconds...more on that later :)

The bike was rockin' I love the downhill start! Gives you time to roll into it and get going. I was passing guys like crazy, and this is where I first realized that I was the first female out on the course! It was awesome to hear people cheering! "Yay! First Female!" I knew there would be people behind me in waves that would be faster than I was, but I got all the glory...and it felt good :) I worked the hill up to Kennecott well, I just kept pushing and telling myself  "This is a sprint like a 5K! You keep going, no time to rest or recover or go slow...GO!" So, I did. Oh, and I loved chicking guy after guy on the bike too :) Only one guy passed me on the downhill, but he was a Clydesdale...can't argue...gravity likes him more :) I took my 2nd Gu at the High School, I figured I was about half way through the time it would take me to finish. I had the wrapper and just couldn't come to terms with chucking it on the ground. The first house that faces 6000W past the cemetary still had their garbage cans out from Friday, AND it was open! So, as I rode by, I took aim and  BOOYAH! Scored a drive by basket as well :) We have an easy, but decent climb back up to the park and on the last turn off Mirabella in front of the stake center and then up Butterfield Park Way I passed a couple guys and I said "C'mon! Last Hill!! Make it Count!! Don't get chicked!!" One guy just laughed and said "too late!"

I unvelcroed my shoes and unclipped before the dismount area so that I could make a fast 2nd trasition. It seemed to work well!! Oh, and my new lock tight laces...no more tying shoes!

T2 time: 0:43 - there were only 2 females with faster T2 times! rockin!! But...one of them was the other Athena!

Here I'd been lulled (okay, not really, I was running scared!) into thinking I was first female and rockin' it when as I jumped out of the transition area there was a female that had an A on the back of her leg (they body mark you on the back of your calf with your age or division, so she had an A for Athena - I had my age, because that was what they asked me when they marked me! I wasn't trying to hide or anything). What the?!? Where in the world did she come from? Well, it got me running! I could tell from the first few steps she wasn't a strong runner and she had to be my only threat at 1st in my division at this point, so I had to dust her! Grabbed water and threw it in the general direction of my mouth at the aid station right out of the T2 area and I took off.

Run Time: 24:04 (3.2 miles, a long 5K) 7:30AP  11th overall fastest run time, 1st in Athena :)

Okay, I'm just going to say it. The run sucked. I'm sick of being injured. My heel hurt and since I haven't been running I felt like I was running through mud!! Okay, some of it may have been the jello legs from the push on the bike, and  some of it may have been the nasty hill you have to run up the first 1/2 mile. I don't know, I just didn't enjoy the run like I normally do. It just never felt right and I never felt like I got into a rhythym and could push myself like I wanted to. Turnover was crappy, breathing was hard, lots of hills and trying to forget about the pain in my foot. blech! I was still passing people, but the run is supposed to be MY thing, where I finally kick it in and show these triathaletes who is boss, but I just didn't have it. I hate being injured and not having MY thing working well. HATE IT!! HATE IT!! HATE IT!!! Okay, rant over.

So, the last little downhill before your final climb to the finish I thought I could hear a female breathing behind me. Shoot. But, then a teen boy (who I had 6 min on due to wave start) passed me, so I figured it was him. But, I kept hearing it on the right. Looked back and there she was. Poo. I wasn't going to cross the finish line first feamle! She was running strong though, so I just did my best to hold on. You have to run up a dirt path then turn onto grass for your final 100M of the race, and it kind of stinks, but I did my best to turn it on and finish strong. The girls finish time was only 3:05 ahead of me, so she was only 5 seconds ahead of me on the line which it seemed more like 10-20 from my point of view. Oh well, they still announced me as 2nd female :) that was fun!

After looking at results posted I was really pleased that I ended up in 5th overall and 1st in my division, but I also would've taken 1st in my AG by 2 min too!! So, it wouldn't have mattered where I started, I still would've come out on top. Awesome!

I had fun chatting with other racers and getting to know some people in the tri world, got my awesome medal for my 1st place and ear buds and a waterbottle in raffle/random prizes. All in all it was a wonderful day and I'm really proud of the hard effort I put in...even if the run was the worst part. Stupid body.

My little 8 yr old also did a tri with his cousin again this week and he took 3rd in his AG!! There were like 20+ kids and cousin was 1st and he was 3rd! Awesome little guy! He really has the racer spirit! Now, he just needs to learn how to swim so he doesn't have to wear a life vest in the swim :)

Lauren (11) had a swim meet as well on Saturday. She improved all of her times despite not going to swim all summer! I told her now big things are expected of her that she IS swimming! :)

I love my little family, even if they do make me batty 99% of the time. That 1% is enough to keep me going! :)

Sorry...no pictures as usual. My support crew was obviously off doing more important things than supporting mom at her crazy race (like usual). Maybe someday my fan club will come watch one of my races and take pictures of me...someday.

Want to run a marathon for $10? well... you can! My friend posted these codes for the Utah Marathon 10/13 (yes, week after SGM), that makes the prices for ALL events only $10. Yup, true story. Paid $10.84 for a half registration. Can't beat that! PLUS you can run on the Fast Running Blog team that Jake set up.

I'm going to run the half that starts at 7AM, then meet the family (I'm assuming I can run a sub 2hr half at a recovery pace the week after SGM) for the 5K that starts at 9AM and run/walk with them. Fun family time...for CHEAP!

Here they are, I don't know when they expire. I did it today hopefully it will still work when you sign up! Come have fun!!

Marathon: FAMILYMARATHON

Half: FAMILYHALF

5k: FAMILY5K

Bike: FAMILYBIKE

Kids: FAMILYKIDS

Beautiful birthday ride with my friend Heidi! Rose Canyon climb to start it out, then out to Redwood via 12600S and out to Saratoga, then back home through Bluffdale to cut out some of the major road crossings. Dropped her at her home, then rode the last little bit home. Finished up with 54.5! Garmin died at 22miles, so no pace...just a great day!

Don't forget to look at the $10 codes for ALL races for the Utah marathon I posted yesterday. Who can pass up a $10 race?!?

I don't want to swear on the blog, so I won't. I'm sick of not feeling it on the run...sick of it! I just want a nice, easy, run again...just one, is that too much too ask?

FABULOUS run this morning. Chad, Ronnie and George. I need to stop running with them, I'm just too slow lately and I feel bad holding them back while they take turns waiting for me/running with me.

At 2 miles figured out I didn't change my garmin from biking. Whatever. The AP for that section was 8:16 - things started out well.

The last 4 miles I just wanted to puke. Should've just done it. Then I could've stopped at 7-11 and gotten a slurpee and walked back to the cars. Oh well. Pushed through and finished, not in good fashion, but I finished.

Got in the car and took off...got turned around and had to pull over at the round about to puke. Ahhh, a good couple minutes of violent puking always makes one feel better.

THEN I stopped at 7-11 on the way home and got my Slurpee! The best part was seeing Kelli on her run and pulling over to chat...30 minutes later my husband called wondering if I was coming home. Ooops. Sorry Kelli, you had to warm-up all over again!!! Thanks for the vent session though. I really need to get a run in with you so I can vent more :)

AP: 8:48 splits: 8:16(avg for the first 2 that were on bike mode), 8:28, 8:53, 9:07, 8:56, 8:30, 8:34, 8:59, 9:09

Someone please tell me how to get back to my normal running self, I'm SO depressed and missing it!!

Okay, okay...before you go worrying about the miles, let me explain.

First off, I throughly got put in the dog house yesterday and I'm going to try this rest thing again. poo. I hate, hate, hate seeing no miles!! But, I really think my foot will heal better and faster this way. Yes, I'm still doing PC...how can I not?!? :)

So, last night at RS a group of ladies in my ward that are the running recruiters (everyone must be too scared of me, so no one will run with me!) in the ward finally asked me to come run with them. They never ask me to come run, I tell them I can keep up with them (they are slower - 11-12mm), but they just laugh and honestly sometimes it hurts my feelings that I am a runner, but no one in the ward will run with me! I understand my pace and miles are intimadating to them, but still - sometimes I just like to run for the social aspect and I don't care about pace. So, since I finally got my invitation to the 'elite' running group of the ward I couldn't turn it down. Besides, they were only doing 4 miles at an 11-12mm - no biggie :)

So, we started around 9:30 and our first mile was around a 10:30mm, not too bad for them and I was just enjoying the company. Well, at 1.6 miles one of the ladies had a HUGE sugar drop (she's had a few of them this week) and she all but passed out. She laid there on the grass and I was the only one who had thought to bring water. In my handheld water bottle I always keep jelly beans, chomps or something of the like incase I end up near dead on a run and need something. It is how I use all the free samples I get :) So, I had some OLD carb boom chews (they're HARD and rip your teeth out if you try to chew them!), but it was all we had. So, I gave her 2 and she said she'd never felt the sugar recover SO quickly - even with skittles. Good endorsement, huh? :) At that she still laid there for about 20 minutes recovering until she felt ready to walk. Thankfully, it was at the bottom of the big hill up to the Middle school and around to the Park, so we got to walk the hardest part of the run! Score.

When she was finally ready to run again, the pace was closer to a 12mm, but I just jogged along with the crowd enjoying the chatter and friends. We finished running 4 miles right by my house, so we walked down to Natalies house at the end of the street, made sure Amber (the one who had the crash) got home safely, then I walked with Lori back to my house. It was 11:30!!!

Holy Crap, longest 4 mile run ever. But, it was better than just sitting and watching Shark Week :) The total running time for the 4 miles was 46:00, so an 11:30AP. I'm certain that this isn't considered running...for ME. Jogging, yes. Running, no. So, see? you can't get mad! I wasn't running :)

Took me an hour to unwind and feel ready for bed. Thankfully, Wed is my sleep in day.

Rode the mtn bike with Adam (baby) on the back to the Rec center this morning. Did a wonderful sweaty spin class, then jumped in the pool for 1500yds (60 touches). Did each 500 in 12:00, 11:30 and 11:00. Nice progressive swim. Not as fast as I once was in the water, but not horrible. I'd like them to be 10:00.

Picked up baby and miracle of all miracles...guess who didn't go to timeout ONCE?!? Oh yeah! A good day in the nursery. I can hardly believe it! He certainly got a treat after we rode home. When we got to the house, I got off the bike and I said "did you have fun on your ride?" He looked at me and said "more?!?" that kid! I tell ya, he loves to be outside. Always has. Even as a newborn he would only calm down when we'd take him outside and rock or walk with him.

So, no more running this week. I need commando points :) I will put my body on an important list and try to heal up this foot. It has gotten to a point where it has stopped getting better. Not worse, just not better...and it ain't gonna cut it for SGM. I will keep up fitness/cardio with bike and ellip and then some swim. I can do this, I just need to be healthy, and it isn't worth rupturing my PF, right?

Bike ride with Adam to the rec center

sweaty pools in spin class

1500yds in the pool (10:20, 10:30, 10:10) improvement from yesterday

no time outs for Adam in nursery again! Even helped a little guy that got hurt. bike ride home and he asked for more :)

What an awesome race!

Rode up with Kelli, met Smooth and Karen and waited in the lobby to avoid the cold!

Foot felt marginal, but I knew I'd be fine - all taped up and ready to go.

No National Anthem or anything this year...we were just off. Catherine came up and said hello (she is running the slam this year!) and we ran for a mile+ together, then I waited at a corner for Smooth and Karen. 

Chatted away the miles from 2-13 with Smooth all about my crazy life and how to deal with everything that seems to be drowning me lately. What an amazing friend and mentor she is. I just don't think I can ever say enough about how much I love and respect that woman!! Karen had found her cousin in the crowd and the 4 of us were just peas in a pod running along enjoying the day.

Somewhere in these miles I found the real reason why I love marathons so much. Marathons are actually BUFFETS! SO much candy, pretzels, fruit!! All you can eat!! You just have to run from table, to table, to table :)

Saw Maynard and Scott on our way up to Deer Valley, did the loop and missed our wet wash cloths! boo.

Just before going over the pedestrian bridge, there were a bunch of people sitting around a fire pit (not lit) and cheering us on. I said "mind if I sit a minute with you?" they just laughed...until I sat down. HA! You should've seen the looks on their faces...priceless.

Then came Empire St Hill. This is my Queen of the Mountain push on this race. I never walk it! So, I ran my mini hill sprint up the mountain and felt like a million bucks! :) Then, I waited for Smooth and Karen. Nice little rest break.

The downhill wasn't as nice to my foot as I would've liked it to be, but I got used to it after a couple miles. The foot really prefers the uphill. Maybe this is a sick joke to make me run hills...and like them!

At Park City Resort aide station (by the Alpine slide) we passed Larry Macon...not Bacon, but close. He has run 903 marathons and is over 70 yrs old. Awesome. When we stopped at the aide station Smooth's hubby Larry brought us a cooler of ice! Oh sweet heaven! With my bra and shorts full of ice we ran off...then the COLD water dripped down my legs, yikes! Made me stop and laugh for a good few minutes and Smooth and Karen were laughing too. We just had way too much fun!

Along the golf course Lowell called from Hobble Creek, Toby finally texted me back about how she did, my neighbor doing her first tri texted me and we chatted with Larry Macon. When we ran this with Kelli last month I told her "I don't remember any of these hard hills around here!" Well, guess who didn't realize they were running up and down hills again? Yup. Too much fun and excitement. Especially at the yard sale where we stopped to shop for a bike :) didn't have one, so we kept running.

Just before the barn we passed our broken leg friend for good. We'd chatted on the way up to Deer Valley and he said he had a SF in his femur. He was from SC and I told him to come to my birthday part at Myrtle Beach Marathon in 2014 (all invited...open invitation!! Marathon on your birthday? doesn't get any better!). We also finally passed the girls who were from BYU. One was running her first full, with never running more than a half for training - crazy girl! The other took up running ultras after breaking up with a boy that was an ultra runner. I told her she should've told him "I can do that...and better than you!" Well, she said she did :) awesome. She'd signed up for the same ultra he'd done, stalked his time from the year before and she had totally beat his time! woot woot! I still think she should've printed out the result and sent it to him on his mission for a little closure :)

After the barn I walked a bit with a guy who was dealing with his 4th full with ITB issues. Poor guy. I feel his pain! Smooth and Karen had left me in their dust. So, I decided to pick it up and push the pace for a bit to catch them. It felt great to open it up to 7:20ish pace for a good 1/3-1/2 mile! Then I ran with them and texted a bit more, and decided at the next aide station I needed to stop at a pop. So, I ran ahead to gain some time, used the pop, ate at the buffet table, then pushed the pace again to catch up. After getting some speed in them my legs protested a bit about the slow. Should've just stayed with Smooth! But, I wasn't going to leave her the last 2 miles of the race!! No way! We'd come this far...I was finishing it out with her.

Larry (Mr Smooth) met us with about 3/4 mile to go and ran in with us! It was wonderful to have him by her side. A Perfect ending to a good comeback marathon for her. We all encouraged and reminisced along that last windy path to the finish, grabbed hands and with Karen's 2 sweet girls crossed with arms held high! Okay, so I couldn't raise one of my hands too high, because I was holding Smooth's hand, so it was like at my shoulder :) hehehe.

After some chocolate milk and a final buffet table, a beautiful medal and quick good-byes we met Kelli, Amy and Scott (Kelli and Amy rocked it!) and then I got in the car with them and took off for home. Right away I took off my shoe and stretched my foot. It didn't feel nearly as bad as I had anticipated...almost good.

I kept waiting and waiting for the foot to feel bad, but even in the morning Sunday and today it feels good! Seriously. It hasn't felt this good since before Des News! I guess I just had to run it out of my system :)

I had a wonderful time at the race, and although this is the longest I've ever spent on a marathon course, it certainly takes rank up there with some of the best times I've ever had with my running peeps! Sometimes it isn't all about the finish time, sometimes it is about the journey.

No more running until Half IM - even though my foot feels okay. I want to hit training for SGM hard after Labor day. I know it will be a short push, but I want to be 100% by then!!!

Thanks to all my peeps who made this race the most wonderful morning a girl can have!! Totally worth the 4AM wake up call :) SMOOTH, KAREN, KELLI, AMY...and Scott for the ride and enduring the stink and chatter of us 3 girls in the car! Oh, and Larry!! I can't forget Mr. Smooth...the ice?!? Oh SO wonderful! He got my favorite person of the day award for that!! Can you do that again next week at the half IM? I'll be running that half marathon about noon!!

Nice little walk with hubby and Lucy. NO kids...good time :)

Slept in and rode with Adam on the mtn bike to the rec center. Met a TTT peep for a bike ride. She was nice enough to let me tag along on the slow machine (mtn bike) with a 30 pound dead weight on the back! 

Went up to Kennecott, down to the HS and back to the rec center. That uphill climb on a mtn bike with Adam on the back? Holy Moly that was worth about 10 miles!! Good training I guess :)

Then I hit Masters swim. I don't know how much I swam, but hit my last 100yd with a time of 1:41 - excellent!

Good recovery after Saturday's marathon. Foot still feels good - surprisingly good! I guess I just needed a marathon to run it all out :)

Decided to skip spin class. I didn't want to push my legs that hard...especially after yesterday's climb fest.

So, I did the spin bike on the track and just read for an hour at a good flat/cadence. Sweaty goodness, but not overdone. I hope.

I hate figuring out how to taper for an ironman. What am I supposed to do for x-training, but to keep my HR up and the legs fresh. stink. I'll probably figure it out...next week! :)

1 hour of spin, easy - not in a class, just by myself...while reading :) Bart Yasso has some really good adventures in his book!

I'm nervous about tomorrow. I told a friend I would run her last long run with her. She is running the Half Crazy marathon on 9/1 as her first and needed someone for her 10 miler. She runs slower 9:30ish, so I should be fine...but I don't know if I'm destroying my recovery/taper or not. Blech. I'll still have 48 hours to do nothing and get it all put back together. That is enough time, right? ugghhh. I hate taper! I'm SO nervous about the Half IM Saturday! I just don't know what to expect and I think I'm going to die....

Well, I did it. I did the 10 miler just 2 days out from the half IM. I would never even think about doing this when I would be racing a half marathon, but I guess I'm just that crazy :) I have to remind myself I'm not really racing Saturday - just getting the experience. It is kind of like your first marathon. You just have to sit back, relax and enjoy the journey. 

Alicia is running her first half 9/1 at "Only Half Crazy" half out here in Herriman. I actually runs right in front of her home. She is going to do great! She ran strong and consistent and pulled out the fastest mile of the bunch at the end (maybe it was me dragging her, but she kept up well!). I think if all goes well she could finish under 2:05, but I think that would scare her...so I won't say it :) 

The Newtons were nice to stop and wait for us and Chad and Ronnie ran a bit with us at first, but I decided it would be best to loop the island at the lake and take the long way around the lake to add 2 miles onto the 8 mile Urban trail loop as opposed to tagging them on the end. So, we said good-bye to familiar faces and went at it alone.

It was a wonderful morning and I'm grateful I got out for the easy miles. I could tell they were easy, but unfortunately I thought we were closer to a 9:20 than a 10:00. Poo. I've lost too much and need my foot to heal so I can get back at it. SGM is pretty much going to be a stink fest if something doesn't change...soon.

Foot is a little behind now in the healing process, but I think by tomorrow it should be about where it was yesterday. So, I guess I can't complain too much.

AP: 9:56 splits: 10:31, 10:23, 9:55, 9:46, 9:29, 9:41, 10:12 (started the trail part and the change of surface I think made the difference), 10:06, 10:04, 9:16.

Now it is a waiting game until the Half Ironman Saturday! Provo Boat Harbor. 1.2 miles of swimming, 56 mile FLAT bike ride, 13.1 run. It will take me about 5-6 hours. Longer (and harder) than any marathon I've ever done....nice. I'm going to die, but like Chad said - it won't be such a bad way to go :)

Holy heavens Batman! I will post more tomorrow. I am tired, sore and hungry :)

I have to say...I'm a dumb runner. I thought a little swim and ride before a half wouldn't be so bad to take on. HA! I'd challenge anyone who thinks it is easy to give it a shot and see how they feel 5 hours later. Holy Heavens Batman....

I am pleased with how well I did. The course was long - 1.5 mile swim (instead of standard 1.2), 56 mile bike was accurate, 13.6 mile half marathon (at least! Some had it at 13.9!!) makes for a long race.

I brought it home for the big girls (Athena) today, but would've placed 6th in my AG if I'd have stuck there...it was worth the medal :)

Pictures and report tomorrow, if I can stand up out of this chair....

***Okay, so I was thinking the WHOLE run about how to describe how that half felt. Here is my best attempt: Think of the worst bonk you've ever had...put it at mile 20 in a marathon...THEN run another 13.1+ miles. Yeah, almost there :) ***

Oh...and yes. I'll be back again next year! You'd better believe it!

********************************************************************

I don't know if it is better or worse to wait to write the report! I guess we'll see how long this one ends up :)

I was nervous as all get out. I had a hard time sleeping Friday and butterflies all week. I thought I was over being nervous about races! Got up at 4 and headed down to Provo.

Got a decent transition place and waited around with the Triple Threat Triathletes (TTT) and found Brent and Ericka. I just didn't know how it was all going to go, worse than my first marathon!

Before I knew it, I had my wetsuit on and was getting into the water. Here is where I saw Matt, it was SO nice to have other FRBers there to share in this crazy!! I knew the swim would be my biggest struggle. I'm not a horrible swimmer, but just slower than most. I just plug along though, and it doesn't bother me or make me nervous...just slow :) So, I took off with my wave start (45ish min late!!! ugghhh...wasn't looking forward to 45 min later of HEAT on the run, but it was cool when we started).

We had 2 loops of the harbor and I felt like I swam pretty straight and did well on my sighting. It was hard when we turned to swim East...with the sun right in front of me I couldn't see the buoys! I just followed everyone around me until it came into sight. On the second loop, there was a guy WALKING...what?!? was I seeing this right? Yup, due to getting molested I had to do a breast stroke kick and my feet hit the bottom. You could totally walk the swim...crazy! This dude was really just walking along the bottom...cheater! :)

The last push toward the dock where you exit seemed SO long. It just wouldn't end...and I couldn't see, because it was into the sun again. Just kept plugging along until I saw people standing up. Whew! finally done. It was SO great to have my TTT peeps there cheering like crazy.

Swim time: 46:44 - this was a little disappointing to me. I wanted to be closer to 40! But, afterward I found out it was measuring (to those with swim garmins) closer to 1.5 miles instead of 1.2!! 500 extra meters? yeah...nice. But, made me not feel so bad about my slow swim time.

T1 time: 1:50 - this seemed to take forever! Especially peeling that wet suit off. But, if you had to stand around and put socks and shoes on wet feet in a race, wouldn't you feel like time was just ticking on without you?!? Yeah, transition times always seem to take forever.

Before I knew it, I was off on the bike. Whew. The hard part was over. I've done this bike ride before. I can do it again. Here we go. I had opened and taken a couple cliff blocks before the swim, and after a few miles on the bike grabbed a few more. The bike is where you must stay on top of your fuel or you will bonk hard! Been there, done that...don't want to do it again.

Around mile 10 I passed my first TTTer. With a good shout out to each other we had a little more to keep going. Somewhere around this same time a lady in a purple jersey passed me...well, kept up with me :) We really leap-frogged the whole time on the bike and we chatted quite a bit. I felt like she was my friend on the bike! We were in different AG so we were good knowing we weren't competing and just helped each other. I loved purple lady! They had an aid station on the bike which was WAY weird! Full bottles of gatorade or water and you had to grab them out of the volunteers hands. TONS harder than a cup!! You're going 20mph and trying to grab something...slippery! :) I still was SO grateful for the extra water, I was worried about running out so it was nice to have a drink and to spray it all over my face and hands as well.

My goal was to not see any bikers coming back until I hit mile 20 (out and back course). Well, it was past mile 19, but before 20 that the first place guy came the other way. Made me feel like I was on target! Plus, I was 15 min back due to wave starts, so I wasn't going to complain. Pedal on!!! I felt strong and passed quite a few people. At the turn around it was fun to see everyone behind me. I got to cheer them on and hope that I could stay strong enough they wouldn't catch me :) 2 of the TTT relay teams were in front of me, but other than that I was out front. I hate running scared. The other ladies were 3-6 min behind me due to wave starts. Brent was a lot closer than I liked at the turn around! I knew I had to kick it in or I'd get those -1000 commando points when he passed me.

Around mile 40 I got tired of the bike. I was ready to be done. I kept thinking...it is like having the 5K left in a half marathon. You're mostly there, and tired...just push through!! My butt was done and I wanted to run :) Foot felt great and I just wanted to get my legs running instead of pedaling!

I had done well on my fueling and anytime my legs started to feel heavy I would pop some cliff blocks or a gu, or just some of the electrolyte drink I'd packed along. I also brought some small graham cracker snacks in case my gut got tired of the gu and blocks. Good thing too. Next time I might try to do a pb sandwich, gut gets tired of gu, but you need fuel. SO much easier to eat on the bike!

About 1-1.5 before the finish on the bike I saw a crash and it put a pit in my gut! A guy about 20 feet in front of me just passed out on the bike! He swerved to the R, hit a curb and flipped into the field. He and his bike were facing me...so he flipped pretty good! He was unconscious and not getting up. I hit my brakes, but then saw a volunteer just 50 feet ahead running back. I decided to continue on the tenth of a mile to the intersection where the cop was directing traffic and let her know. I told her he had passed out and was unconscious and not getting up. She got on her walkie and called an ambulance. I'd done all I could do and continued on to the finish...shaken up! Then I saw my family just a bit later and I broke down! tears, hyperventilating and all. Finally, it was time to get my butt off the bike and run. YES! I had this, just a half marathon in front of me. I could wake up and do this any day, right?

I was blowing the family a kiss...not trying to hide! :)

Bike time: 2:51:38 (19.65mph) I was hoping I could hit 20mph...SO close! Next time :)

T2 time: 1:17 - slower than I would've liked, but not too shabby looking at other participant's times. I got headed out then remembered I should grab a drink before I head off, I didn't know when the first aid station would hit. So, I went back and got a drink. Probably added 20+ seconds, but it was worth it!

....gotta get going to my son's doc appointment...stay tuned.

I know you've all been waiting for the final installment. Pins and needles, I'm sure!

So, I get out of T2 and I'm on my way, running and passing lots of other folks. Assuming that the jello legs that I'm used to from the bike will fade in a mile or two and I can kick into normal running gear and get this baby over with. HA! The jello legs faded right into lead legs. I felt like my cardio was still fine, but my legs were just done. I don't know if my fueling was off on the bike, if I pushed too hard on the bike or if I just wasn't as ready as I thought...especially for the heat!

It was close to 85 or so when I started running around 11:30...started. running. I had asked Craig to bring a big cooler of ice (like Larry did for the marathon last week) so that I could fill up my shirt...and boy did I! The way the course was, the family only had to move 100 ft and could see me at mile 2, 6, 8 and finish. I was SO grateful for each handful of ice, encouragement, shouts and smiles from the kiddos! Kept me going.

The second loop was the hardest. There are 2 out and backs and then 2 loops, so you cross people 4X that are in front of and behind you. I was gaining on the people I knew in front of me, but didn't seem to be putting any distance between the people behind me. I knew I was going slow, but I thought for sure I'd finish under 2 hrs...like 1:50-1:55 or so. HA! This was one time it was good I didn't have my garmin, it would've just depressed me. I did get to see Craig and MattVH on the 2nd loop! They'd recognized me on the first loop, but I got to see who was cheering me on the 2nd time around.

Each aid station had water, gatorade or heed, ice and a couple had people standing there with a hose to spray you down. Oh, it was nice! I kept dumping water over my head, shoving ice down my shirt (yes, sometimes I was hot enough I'd take it out and suck on it or eat it) and the hose brigade would shower me down. Only way to survive running at noon!!! I don't know how you AZ people do it day in and out at 5AM!

The last 3 or so mile stretch to the finish felt like such a drag! I did feel like I picked it up around mile 12ish for a bit, but then faded during the last half mile. Which I found out later the course was closer to 13.6-13.8!!! ugghh! Kelli was with me on this last push. I kept singing over and over "my body tells me noooooo, but I won't quit! 'cuz I want Mooooorrrree!!" I just had to get to the end...then I was going to lay down. Not walk, not talk...just lay down on the grass 2 inches on the other side of the finishing mats and lay down and nap. Yup...that is all I wanted to do.

Since most of you only see the back of me anyway in a race, I decided to use this picture since you'd recognize me better this way :) hehehe

Problem came when that last stretch I started to feel zings of cramping in my calf. I thought of Kelli again last week on the course. I just had to keep moving before it got too bad! I wanted this done so bad....I swear that half marathon was like 50 miles long!!!

I finally could hear the crowd at the finish line and pulled my way through and pushed to the finish! I was done!! I had done it!! I didn't stop 2 inches over the line and lay down. The cramp wouldn't let me, so I did my Smooth walking around the finishers area until it calmed down enough that I could let them take of my timing chip. I had no idea of how well or what time I'd finished in....I was just done! I hadn't stopped running on the run when I saw lots of others walking and I had only been passed by 2 or 3 people and I passed a gazillion! Especially the 2nd lap when a lot of people were just on their first lap. But, I didn't care. I was done!

Run time: 2:02:37 - stinky 2 hour half marathon! I guess if it was over a 1/2 mile too long, I did run a sub 2hr...but still kind of ticks me off!

My 8 yr old racing me to the finish!!

When I finished my boys raced me to the finish line and walked around with me...and ate treats with me :) I sat with my family, got a professional stretch session, chatted with TTTers and cheered in those that followed closely behind. I was ecstatic when I saw my finish time and placing! I know lots of people think that since I'm tall and lean I shouldn't sign up for Athena, but hey...I don't make the rules! My TTT group all think I'm a big sandbagger, but just because I'm willing to admit I weigh over 150 doesn't mean I'm cheating, does it? This has really been bothering me. I don't make the rules about weight in Athena, but they all say "well, there should at least be a HEIGHT limit!" What the heck?!? I'm still dragging around all the weight, so why not if I can? Am I really being considered a big cheater when I sign up for Athena? I'm really conflicted about all of this. I guess they got to me.

"WHATEVER! I'll race Athena if I want to!" :)

Anyway, I was happy to be able to take podium and place in my first half. My purple jersey friend from the bike passed me on the 2nd loop of the run and I couldn't keep up with her. Looking back now I wish I would've given more and kept up with her! My run time would've been under 2 hrs. I did find out her name was Rachel too! That just really made my day. Purple Rachel sisters on the half! I'm hoping some of the race pics will have her in it! Overall I had a great day and I'm ready to take the challenge on again and someday do a full. But, it will take a lot more training to get there...a lot!

I am SO grateful for my health and strength that got me through this race, my family and friends that were there supporting me along the way and all of you that were in my thoughts as well. If any of you are 'dumb runners' like I was and think that since you can run marathons with little to no build up, so a half IM would be nothing....do it. Go ahead, try it. We'll talk afterward :)

Me posing alone on the podium...none of the other big girls were willing to show! :)

Don't laugh...I know I'm an embarrassment to the running community right now. It is sad. Where did the runner in me go? The one willing to get up at all hours of the morning to run in any condition with any little pain? Hello? Hello? are you out there? I want you back!!

I was going to run with the Newtons this morning, but I woke up, got dressed and was hobbling on my foot. I thought about it and decided I was going to bail. I'd do shorter, faster miles at the gym to hopefully save the foot. I think I was just making stuff up so I could go back to bed. I'm tired! 

When I woke up at 8 my foot felt a lot better...see? all mental excuses!

Did 3 miles on the TM - 8:34, but then after a while I decided during the commercials I'd drop the pace to 8:00. Felt good! Not as hard as I had anticipated. The last .3 I just increased from there ending at a 6:58AP for the last tenth. It felt good to hammer out a little faster pace than I'd run in a LONG time. I need to get back to running...I miss it.

AP: 8:20 TT: 25:01

Went to the spin bike (oh, my butt is sore!!!) and did 30 min of good cadence flat spinning while I read about Bart Yassos adventure in Antarctica. How cool would it be to be a member of the 7 continents club? I'd take that over 50 states!!! :)

Rode my bike with Adam on the back to the rec center. I added 2 miles, because on the way there I realized I forgot my Ipod and key (to check in and pay for day care), so I went back home to get it. A lot easier to go home in the car!

6 miles on the TM. Started at 8:34 and then on commercials for Price is Right I would speed up. Started 1st commercial at 7.2, then 7.3 etc etc until I got to 7.6 and I stayed there for my commercial breaks. Then, the last 1/2 mile I went progressive starting at 7.6 and ending at 9.0 (6:58) for the last tenth.

AP: 8:20 TT: 49:57

30 min of swimming with Masters swim. Talked to much to get a full 45 minutes in. Oh well, it was nice to just relax and swim. Did pulls, kicks and swim.

Biked the 3 miles home for a total of 8 miles on the mtn bike with baby on the back.

Urban Trail Loop at 5AM, dang that is early!

tried to keep the pace at a good clip, but it was hard to see when we got into the single track trail and I didn't have my head lamp :( Went to get new batteries this AM and I didn't have the right size.

The best part of waking up early to run is to see the sunrise, but I was back home before that today!

AP: 8:14 splits: 8:22, 8:04, 7:58, 7:55, 8:38, 8:03, 8:44, 8:08

Then I skipped the gym in lieu of yard work since it is going to rain this weekend.